An introduction

Here's another one of my creative writing assignments. We had to introduce ourselves in the most creative or interesting way possible. Our professor had talked about Kamala Das' poem "An introduction" so we had a something to base our work on.
Also I've always had a huge problem with writing introductions even for social networking sites. I still don't think I'm going to use this on my facebook account though....

An Introduction

With my laptop in front of me, I try to define in a few hundred words my identity, my entire being. An impossible task! Or is it really? Sometimes I am struck by how very ordinary I am. Hundreds just like me. Clones. Zombies. Going about their lives with the same feelings. Same insecurities. Same hopes. Same joys. . Same fears. This is probably a fear too. Of being ordinary. Is there really any individuality that needs to be explained? Just get a shrink to stereotype me into this pigeonhole of the IITian who doesn’t know what got him here but who hasn’t got the balls to admit to himself that there’s no other place that he’d rather be. She’ll add a few details of her own. Single child? Equals pampered. Air force kid? Equals frequent home shifting. Equals detached. Equals doesnt makes friends easily. ‘Apoorv’. It means ‘Unique’. And I’m just bubbling with uniqueness aren’t I!

A good guy. Or am I? Would I help a blind man cross the street? Maybe I would. But how does that make me good anyway? I might not give a few pennies to the blind beggar at the mandir. So I only do the good deeds that are convenient to me. This kid can’t get his cycle up the stairs… poor guy… sure, ill carry it for him. Unless of course if its out of my way. But all those other people going up the stairs might not want to help him out. Why do I want to prove myself to be good. I hate this need to be liked by everyone.

That’s not the only need that I dislike. I also have this desire to be thought of by others as this really cool guy. What do you mean by’cool’, you’ll ask. And ill fill it up dozens of adjectives. Take your pick. Sophisticated. Humourous. A smooth talker. Outgoing. Loves adventure. Is a guitarist. Teaches dance. Goes camping every month. Jogs every day. Maybe the definition of cool doesn’t even change according to how I want it to be. It depends on who’s standing in front of me in who’s eyes I want too look cool.

Sophisticated. That’s a good one. I was talking with this friend of mine the other day about this new bollywood wealthy NRI family drama. “Dude you really need to watch good movies man. Just stop all this bollywood bullshit. Its all the same. I just watched Citizen Kane. Now that’s class.” The only appeal of Citizen Kane to me might have been the incredible ratings that in enjoys on most movie review sites. My appreciation of the movie wouldn’t have gone beyond, “It was the sled the whole time! Wow!” But ill quote, as if they were my own words of course the most common observations made by the critics. “A pioneer both in cinematographic art as well as the use of make-up. And what a powerful character! Such determination! Such confidence! What arrogance! Beautiful! Just Beautiful!” Here’s another one of my needs. The need to be different. I can’t be just another regular guy who talks about the latest Shar Rukh Khan movie. I have to have good taste! I have to watch Tarantino. I have to read Tolstoy. Naipaul. Rushdie. Woody Allen. Different, eh? I just conform into the image of the non-conformist. Truly unique!

So there you have it. A small dosage of Apoorv Gupta. I could go on, but it would be more of the same. Just me ranting about my hypocrisy and my needs. Oh wait! I just realised another one. To be dark. You see; dark humour is just so cool.